Hello from a hopeful trans woman
Get to know a they/them enby girl and read some gripping stories
Welcome to a mostly autobiographical adventure with a mix of paid and free content. My writing is evolving, and I hope that some fiction makes its way out sooner than later.
You’ll find some oversharing about medical transitioning and my personal life in Can’t You Wait Until I’m Dead? Memoir of a Mid-Life Transition in a Culture War, and if you’d like some distance between me and my storytelling, check out The TRANSformation of Jennie Heckenlaible and my novella about investigating my father’s death, called Murder of an Uncommon Man. I changed all the names and places and called it fiction to protect my family’s privacy, but the story is true. If you prefer audiobooks to reading, I’ve got you covered.
Many queer people of colour have fought for and continue to fight for the freedoms I enjoy. I am forever in their debt. I live and work on the unceded and unsurrendered land of the Halkomelem-speaking peoples to whom I also owe a debt, apology, and work toward reconciliation. With utmost gratitude, I hope that sharing my transition will make it easier for everyone on the path toward self-awareness, acceptance, and reconciliation.
Few transitions are without challenges of mental health, suicidal ideation, and recovery from surgeries. Mine was no exception. Please take care of yourself and get help if these topics distress you. I’ll list some resources below for you if you’re in the U.S. or Canada.[i]
Some terms I used when I started writing Murder in 2012 now make me cringe, and the words I use today will inevitably become outdated and offensive. I’ve done my best to edit and update the blog posts and correspondence with family, friends, and coworkers, but sometimes I have blind spots.
Please don’t look here for innovative discourse in theory—I’m not an expert in gender studies. For example, I learned recently that the Manual of International Statistical Classification of Diseases and Related Health Problems ICD-11, replaced “transsexualism” with “gender incongruence” in 2018 and removed it from the chapter on mental disorders.[ii] There’s a lot I need to learn, and I hope you’ll continue to read more about gender.
These stories don’t include my deadname (birth name) or a photo of me presenting as male. Sharing and using a deadname is a personal choice, and to be honest, I don’t enjoy seeing pictures or deadnames of others who transitioned. I realize some are fine with their historical record, and if they were in the public eye before they transitioned, they don’t have much choice over what’s out there. But that’s not me. For me, learning and using new pronouns and names are signs of respect. Where my deadname appears in emails and conversations, I’ve replaced it with “[deadname].” If you find it hard to read, please realize that for me and many others, it can feel like a slur when we hear or see our deadnames, regardless of the intention.
For the language purists out there, I write stories set in America in American English and those set in Canada in Canadian English. For my British English cousins, you’ll see some spellings that don’t look right to you in Canadian English because it is a mix of American and British English, reflecting the country's colonial and close cultural ties. As is customary in Canada, I apologize in advance if this offends either American or British readers.[iii]
[i] Trans Lifeline, https://translifeline.org/.
The Trevor Project, https://www.thetrevorproject.org/.
PFLAG, https://pflag.org/.
9-8-8: Suicide Crisis Helpline (Canada), https://988.ca/.
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (US), https://988lifeline.org/.
[ii] M. Fernández Rodríguez, M. Menéndez Granda, Villaverde González, “Gender Incongruence is No Longer a Mental Disorder,” Journal of Mental Health and Clinical Psychology, September 18, 2018, https://www.mentalhealthjournal.org/articles/gender-incongruence-is-no-longer-a-mental-disorder.html.
[iii] Emily Keeler, “Sorry—can we talk about why Canadians apologize so much?” CBC/Radio-Canada, January 19, 2017, https://www.cbc.ca/2017/sorry-can-we-talk-about-why-canadians-apologize-so-much-1.3939997.